


Safe Space

by kitkatt0430



Series: Coldflash Bingo 2019 [2]
Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Barry wants to be shocked by this but he's not, Barry's not entirely comfortable with Zoom's final fate, Grief, Ignores Flashpoint, Leaving how he survived vague for now, Len sneaking into Barry's home, Len's not really sure himself, Leonard Snart Lives, Leonard worries he came back wrong, M/M, Nightmares, Post-DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV) Season 1, Post-The Flash (TV 2014) Season 2, Trauma, musing on the nature of Time Remnants
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-28
Updated: 2019-04-28
Packaged: 2020-01-22 21:42:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18536038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kitkatt0430/pseuds/kitkatt0430
Summary: Leonard Snart wakes up in an abandoned warehouse.  This isn't the first time that's happened, but it is the first time he's woken up in a warehouse after presumably dying in a place where time had no meaning.  Uncertain when he is, Len heads to the first safe place he can think of, planning to get some answers... which is how Barry comes home to find Leonard Snart asleep on his couch.





	Safe Space

**Author's Note:**

> I'm a little hard on Cisco here, but season 3 Cisco did not handle his grief well. (If you've read my other stuff, you know I adore Cisco.) As I'm chucking out Flashpoint, but not Dante's death, I'm poking at Cisco some for forgetting in his own grief that Barry was also grieving the loss of a family member too. Caitlin too, for being so secretive about her own problems that she wasn't really there for Cisco or Barry the way they needed her to be... but also that she wasn't letting them be there for her the way she needs. (One day these superhero teams will learn communication is key to all relationships, I swear...)

It takes him longer than it should've to realize his eyes were open.

Len was staring up at the ceiling.  The ceiling of what, exactly, he wasn't certain.

Why the ceiling, though?

That's when it occurs to him that he's lying flat on his back on an uncomfortable floor.  So he sits up, slowly, but his back doesn't ache like he thinks it ought.

Blinking a few times, Len looks around, trying to figure out where he is.  He knows this place.  He just... doesn't know why.

It's a warehouse, he realizes after a long moment.

He... planned a heist here once.  The memories filter in slowly.  The Kahndaq diamond.  The first time he saw the Flash.

The Flash... the first real challenge Len had found in a long time.  Barry Allen...

Len stood up and swayed for a moment, dizzy.

This place was where he'd become Captain Cold.  Where he'd tested out the cold gun, taken it apart and put it back together, learned its workings by heart... where was it now?

Looking around, Len didn't see the gun or his parka or... anything.  The place was empty.

He frowned and looked down at himself.  He was wearing the same clothes he'd worn when he died.  Dark clothes, black jacket, goggles, but... no, he'd left the gun with Mick.  Told Sara to save Mick and... died, blowing the Oculus.

"People who die in explosions," Len muttered, "do not generally wake up in a warehouse."

Now that he knows where he is, he needed to know when he was.

* * *

The answer to when Len was turned out to be September, 2016.  

Len found one of his safe houses and a burner phone.  Once that was powered up, he checked the date and the most recent news.  Seemed Central City had been quietly the last few months.  He had to go back to May to find anything interesting and it was the disappearance of Zoom, a speedster who'd been terrorizing the city when Len left with the Legends in January.  Seemed Barry had come out on top of that one.

He picked up a spare ID - Leonard Winters - and some cash.  And then... he didn't know what to do from there.  

Len was alive when he shouldn't be, back in his own time when he shouldn't be... he needed answers.

He could go to STAR Labs and ask the nerd squad.  But that... didn't really appeal to him.

Instead, Len found his way to Barry Allen's apartment.  He picked the lock on the door, disarmed the alarm, and then lay down on the couch.  Which was when it occurred to him that Barry had still been living with his foster father last he'd checked.  So how... how had he known to come here?

It was, clearly, Barry's apartment.  Pictures of the West family and the STAR Labs crew were on display.

How had he known?

* * *

Barry was late getting home that evening.  Work had run long and then he'd been diverted on the way home to stop a jumper.  Cisco was still being a jerk because he was not handling Dante's death well and Barry was starting to take it a little personally.  Though considering Barry had nearly messed with the timeline after his father's death - had actually run into the speed force and nearly gone all the way back to the night of his mother's death before realizing he was about to make a horrible mistake and returning to the present - Barry was trying his damnedest to be understanding.  And Caitlin was hiding something.  Barry suspected some kind of meta power but he couldn't bring that up to Cisco because...

It felt like Team Flash was falling apart.

So Barry phased through his front door, dropped his wallet and keys on the table by the front door, and headed for the kitchen.  Only to stop because... was that a snore he just heard?

It was.  There was snoring coming from Barry's couch.

Slipping back into super speeds, Barry rushed to the couch to see the intruder.  And then he just stopped and stared because...

Leonard Snart was asleep on his couch.  Leonard Snart... who was dead.

At least, that was what Mick and the other Legends had told him.

It was possible this wasn't really Snart.  They'd encountered a shapeshifter before, after all.  But... Barry had the feeling this was the real Leonard Snart.

Maybe it was the empty mug of hot chocolate on the coffee table.

Returning to normal speeds, Barry grabbed a blanket and then gently draped it over Snart before heading back into the kitchen to make enough spaghetti to feed a speedster and, possibly, a guest with a more normal human appetite.  Hopefully the smell of good food would wake up his unexpected guest.

Barry also turned on the oven to make some garlic toast and then got to boiling pasta and browning meat.  Every so often there would be a soft snore from the couch.

"No..."

Barry frowned and looked over the kitchen island to where Snart sounded like his dreams were taking a turn towards the not so nice.

"S'ry, Mick," Snart shifted in his sleep and Barry decided it was time to wake up his guest.

* * *

_Mick had been through hell and it was Len's fault.  He'd chosen the Legends over Mick, but thought he could have things both ways.  And Mick suffered for it._

_It was like with the fire gone wrong all over again.  But so much worse._

_Part of him had wanted Mick to kill him in that cell.  Len would've deserved it._

_But now... now Len could make it up to him.  Mick could take Ray's place... and Len could take Mick's._

_"My old friend, please forgive me," he said, then knocked Mick out, placing his cold gun in his unconscious partners' grasp.   Then he directed Sara to take Mick away while he held down the device necessary to blow up the Oculus._

_Looking back as Mick disappeared into the room beyond, he murmured, "sorry, Mick."_

_When the Oculus exploded, Len expected a moment of pain and then nothing.  He was right about the moment of pain._

_But then he was everywhere and everywhen and nowhere and nowhen all at once._

And then Len was awake.  He dragged in lungfuls of air, no idea where he was, but... someone was there with him.

He frowned as the world came back into focus.  "Barry?"

"Where..." he looked around in confusion a moment.

"You're at my apartment.  You were here when I got home."  Barry tilted his head to the side, regarding Len curiously.  "The Legends told us you were dead."

Len nodded, memory filling back in.  "Right..." The apartment he hadn't known existed but had found anyway.  That apartment.

"I'm making spaghetti for dinner.  Are you hungry?"

"Yeah..." he pressed his hands against his face.  Why was waking up so hard?

"Here, drink this," Barry changed out the empty hot chocolate mug with a new cup, this time with what smelled like coffee.  "Are you alright?"

"I don't know," Len admitted.  "I... think I was dead.  But then I was here in Central City and... not dead."

A bowl of spaghetti appeared in front of Len and another in Barry's hands.

"Did you even move?"

Barry laughed.  "I've gotten faster since we last fought."

"Maybe its time we fought again."  Len was intrigued as he dug into the pasta.

"Maybe," Barry replied, looking amused.  He was practically inhaling his food.  It disappeared and then... reappeared?  Barry was getting refills.

The coffee and pasta - and some garlic toast appeared after a few minutes too - Len started to feel human again.  "The last time I was in Central City, you didn't have this apartment."

Barry nodded.  "I got it shortly after... after things with Zoom were concluded.  I needed some space to myself."

"I didn't know about this place... but somehow I still knew to come here.  I knew this was your apartment."  Len dunked his garlic toast in the spaghetti sauce.  "I'm supposed to be dead in a place where time had no meaning after destroying a device that could monitor the timelines.  And I think I was dead.  But then... I wasn't."  He paused a beat then said, "I need to know what happened to me."

* * *

Barry gets the whole waking up to your life having turned upside down and inside out thing better than most.  So he talks Snart into staying the night on the couch with the promise that tomorrow morning they'll head to STAR Labs and start running tests.  It's one of Barry's days off from work - his real job, not his superhero job, anyway - and he's not really looking forward to spending the day around Cisco's sulky attitude, but... he doesn't really want to imagine what Snart would do to Cisco without Barry there as a buffer.

Thus Barry wakes up to the sound of his house guest having another nightmare.

Zipping out into the kitchen, Barry puts on a pot of coffee as quickly as possible - he has to consider the physics of water which is always annoying and slows him down from the moment he turns on the tap to the moment the water is safely poured into the machine - and then safely wakes Snart if only because he can move fast enough to get out of the way as Snart wakes up with a fist raised and a confused expression (and a bit frightened, not that Barry will ever say that out loud).

Snart settles almost immediately, fist dropping as he recognizes his surroundings.  "Sorry about that," he mutters hoarsely, looking away in what is either embarrassment or guilt.

Barry shrugs.  "No harm done."  Even if there had been, Barry heals fast.  Though he doubts it would have been any consolation for Snart.  "Want to talk about it?"

"No."

"Fair enough."  Barry grabs one of the special speedster protein bars to nom on while tossing one of the actually tasty breakfast bars to Snart.  "The coffee should be ready soon," he says, glancing impatiently at the coffee maker as he spoke.

Snorting in amusement, Snart tore open the breakfast bar's packaging.  "A little impatient for your caffeine fix, huh?"

"Caffeine, much like alcohol, does absolutely nothing for me anymore.  I metabolize them both too fast.  But I still get a psychological perk up from drinking it, so..."  Barry shrugged.  "The placebo affect is alive and well and if it fortifies me for having to deal with..." he trailed off with a slight grimace.

"Deal with me?" Snart filled in, with a self deprecating smirk.

"Cisco, actually."  Barry hadn't wanted to complain about Cisco to Snart of all people, but... the man was going to know something was off between them soon enough anyway.  "His brother died in a hit and run accident not too long ago.  Drunk driver most likely, but the guy still hasn't been caught.  The car was found, but it had been stolen earlier that day..." Barry'd gone over what remained of the car with the utmost care in his position as a CSI, but any evidence had been stripped out by a chop shop before the remains found their way to police custody.  "Anyway, Cisco's pissed at me because I won't run back in time and change things so Dante survives."

"You can time travel without a ship," Snart says blankly.

Barry just nods.

"Is there anything you can't do by running really fast and wishing really hard?"

"Explain to Cisco my ethical problems with playing god with the timeline?"  Barry shrugged.  "Either he'll get over it and our friendship recovers or... whatever.  I doubt you're all that interested in the inner workings of Team Flash right now."

"Not really, no.  Unless it's going to get in the way of finding out what the hell happened to me."

"Doubtful.  Though considering that one time you froze his brother's hands?  Maybe try not to talk to Cisco too much beyond answering his questions, okay?"

Snart just rolled his eyes.  "Caffeine does work on me.  Is that coffee ready yet?"

"Almost."  Barry grinned, his smile turning cheeky.  "You want it iced?"

* * *

"I thought you were dead," is the first thing Ramon says when he sees Len show up with Barry at STAR Labs.

Snow thwaps the engineer on the shoulder and the guy rubs his arm, a slightly chagrined look on his face as he apologizes.  They're not exactly inspiring confidence in Len but its not like he has any other choices.  Not unless he wants the Waverider to show up and... Len's not ready for that.  Not yet anyway.

The rest of the morning disappears in a whirlwind of tests and invasive questions.  Much as Len would like to keep his knowledge of things he shouldn't know quiet, he's already told Barry.  Might was well share it with the rest of the class too.  He reluctantly shares the disoriented not-quite-memory/not-quite-nightmare of dying and being everywhere and everywhen all at once.

They break for lunch and then run more tests.  Len's ready to go hunting for the original cold gun - surely they've got that stashed away in the building somewhere - to threaten Ramon for being annoying by the time Barry calls an end to the tests.

"So, Caitlin, is he who he thinks he is?"  Barry looks amused.

"Well, it'll take until tomorrow morning to get the last of the results processed," Snow hedged.  "But, yeah, his DNA is Leonard Snart's.  You," she directed to Leonard, "have a slight iron deficiency.  Not quite enough to qualify as anemic but it may be contributing to the disorientation you're feeling on waking up."  She looked longingly back at her lab and excused herself to go run more tests.

Ramon had already disappeared entirely, muttering something about Gideon that couldn't possibly be right.

"You have access to Gideon here?" he asked Barry.

"Yeah.  Eobard Thawne - the Reverse Flash - stole the original Gideon in the future and brought her back in time with him.  So now we've got her in a secure room.  Apparently I'm supposed to invent her one day.  Which is odd because while programming is a hobby, I've never really been all that interested in AI."  Barry eyed him uncertainly, then said, "we can use her to contact the Legends if you want."

"Not yet."

"That's what I thought.  Do you want to contact your sister?  I know Cisco's got her number."

"I don't want to know why he has her number," Len muttered grouchily.  Annoying though he was, Ramon was step up from most of the guys Lisa had dated over the years.  But if they were dating - if Lisa was sleeping with him - Len did not want to know.

"Pretty sure they're friends, not dating or friends with benefits or anything like that," Barry assured him, probably worried about Len threatening his friend.  "So is that a 'no' for now on that too?"

He isn't really ready for that either.  "I want answers first.  Then I'll call her."  Lisa deserved better than to be left in the dark for longer than that.  She deserved to know now, really, but Len...

Len's worried he isn't himself anymore.

"I got struck by lightning the night the accelerator blew up.  Woke up nine months later."  Barry paused a beat then said, "common side effects of a coma are muscle loss, personality shifts, seizures... except I didn't have any of that.  I was actually in better physical condition after nine months in a coma than I was before the lightning struck me.  I wanted to pretend I was fine.  I wanted to go back to my life like nothing happened.  I even tried to write off my first experience using the Speed Force as just a really bizarre instances of tachypsychia.  Once I realized I really was moving so fast the rest of the world seemed to slow down, I started looking for answers, but... I'd have happily let it all have been a bizarre blip in my otherwise uneventful life if I could have.  I'm pretty sure that wanting answers right from the start is a much healthier response to this kind of trauma."

"Tachypsychia?" Len repeated.  "Not a scientist, Scarlet."

"The experience of time seeming to slow, usually caused by an adrenaline response but can also be a side effect of concussions or other injuries that affect the brain."

"Like a lightning strike and coma," Len drawled.  "Not a bad assumption, honestly."

"Not a bad assumption unless its one of many weird things happening, most of which can't be hand waved with the words 'struck by lightning'."  Barry gave him a look.  "So, what are you really worried about?"

"No.  I'm not discussing that with you."  Len scowled, then looked away.  "So what happened to that other speedster.  The one who was harassing you when I left with the Legends."

"Zoom."  There's a darker tinge to Barry's voice when he says the name.  Len finds himself looking back up in surprise.  "He's gone."

"Gone.  Not dead?"  Seemed a curious distinction to make.  "Locked away somewhere he can't cause any trouble, then?"

"Something like that."  Barry doesn't elaborate further and, for now, that was that.

* * *

Snart stays the night at Barry's apartment again that night.  They watch _The Italian Job_ \- the remake, not the original - and Barry enjoy's Snart's running commentary on how the final heist would never have worked in real life.

Barry probably shouldn't be enjoying himself so much.  Snart was never legally declared dead and, as such, is still wanted for escaping prison in December.  But they've still got their deal in place, so... as long as Joe doesn't find out Barry's harboring a criminal, things should be fine.  And with things so quiet lately on the super-heroing front, Joe had largely been staying out of things at STAR Labs.  (Probably trying to avoid dealing with the awkwardness between Barry and Cisco too.)

Sometime around four in the morning, Barry woke up to a crashing noise.  

"Is everything alright?" Barry asked, opening his bedroom door to peer out into the living room.

The coffee table had been knocked ajar and its contents - mostly books, but also the PS3 controller and tv remote - knocked to the ground.  Snart was sitting on the couch, a slightly dazed expression on his face though that cleared quickly as he turned to look at Barry.  And then he looked Barry over, an obvious up and down glance taking in Barry's shirtless state and the way the pajama pants hung on his hips.

Barry flushed a little.  When was the last time someone looked at him like that?

"Fine.  Everything's fine."  Snart's eyes are still wandering, to Barry's amusement.

"Right."  Barry smirked, enjoying the attention for the moment.  He padded over and crouched down to start putting things back on the table.  Snart leaned down to pick up a few things too and then he shoved the table further away from the couch.  "Well, I don't know about you, but I'm not going to be able to go back to sleep.  Want to put another movie on?"

"Yeah.  I'm picking this time."  Snart got up and headed over to Barry's DVD collection.

Barry went to fetch a shirt.

* * *

"There's nothing weird in the tests," Caitlin told Len.  "You're a hundred percent normal."

"Aside from being borderline anemic?" Len interjected.

"Eat more spinach, you'll be fine Popeye," she told him, voice dry.

Len snickered, then glanced out the door where a quiet, tense conversation was going on between Cisco and Barry.

"What's going on there?"

"Cisco's brother - the guy you tortured, I'm sure you remember him - died.  He's not handling it well.  And... Barry's still grieving himself."

No one had said anything, but suddenly Len just knew... "His father, right?"

"Yeah."

"Then why are you standing off to the side instead pushing your friends to patch things up."  For a moment... for a moment he saw someone else standing where Caitlin Snow stood.  White hair and iced over eyes... she looked scared.  "Unless there's something you don't want them to notice and its easier to hide it when they're at odds."

All he could see was Caitlin again and she snapped something at him that Len couldn't quite process... mostly because the world was tunneling in on him.

* * *

"Barry!"

Turning away from Cisco, Barry was at Caitlin's side in a second, hoisting the unconscious Snart onto the nearest cot.  "What happened?"

"He... his eyes changed," Caitlin said.  "His eyes were practically glowing blue."  She bit her lip nervously and Barry just knew she was holding something back.

"What else?" he asked evenly.

"That's all.  He said something rude, his eyes glowed, and then he passed out."  Caitlin met his gaze steadily.

"We need to contact the Waverider.  With their future tech, they'll be able to see what's going on with him that we're missing."  Cisco looked concerned as he joined them.

"Yeah," Barry muttered, glancing uncomfortably at Cisco.  "Let's give them a call."

* * *

The Waverider arrived before Snart woke back up.

Barry's not exactly sure what to make of Rip Hunter.  It's the second time they've met - from Barry's point of view, anyway - but Rip kind of...

Apparently, in the future - or at least a future, a most likely averted future - an older version of Barry had mentored Rip.  There was some sort of... hero worship going on there that Barry wasn't entirely comfortable with.

"It's good to see you again, Barry," Rip said, practically beaming as he held out his hand to shake Barry's hand.  Behind him, Sara was hiding a grin.  "What was the big emergency you called us in for?"

"You need to see for yourselves," Barry told them, leading them into STAR Labs.  Mick was grumbling at Ray and there was an odd friendship if ever there was.  

And then they arrived at the infirmary and Mick just... shuddered to a stop, staring at Snart.

"He showed up at my apartment two days ago, looking for answers," Barry told them quietly.  "Snart wasn't ready to reach out to you all yet, so we ran tests ourselves first.  Nothing came up, but..." he gestured to Caitlin.

"All of a sudden his eyes glowed blue and he passed out.  But the only thing coming up on tests is a minor iron deficiency," Caitlin filled in.

Mick took a few halting steps forward.  "But he's alive."

"Yes."  Caitlin's expression softened and, despite their shared history not being the greatest, she put a hand on Mick's arm.  "He's alive."

* * *

_"No strings on me," Len muttered.  Not the best last words in all of history, but it wasn't like he had time to think of something better.  It made his point well enough, anyway._

_No one controls me._

_My choices are my own._

_The world exploded and Len was dead._

_He knew he was dead.  Except..._

_He was also two-and-a-half and his father hit him for the first time.  Lewis was appalled and swore never to raise a hand to his son again.  A promise soon broken._

_He was fourteen and Mick Rory just saved his life.  They're going to be best friends, Lenny could tell._

_He was eleven and holding his baby sister for the first time.  There was nothing more precious in his life than Lisa._

_He was in prison, too many times to count._

_He was staring at the warehouse on fire, relieved that Mick survived.  It was Len's fault.  Mick will never forgive him; Len just knows it._

_He was looking at the Flash over the barrel of the cold gun..._

_It was more than that, though.  Not just his life, but all his possible lives.  Every past, every present, every future..._

Leonard woke up sharply, breathing hard.

The other version of Caitlin he'd glimpsed.  Killer Frost.  Or just Frost.  Depended on how badly - or how well - Caitlin learned to deal with her fear.

And Len wasn't entirely sure how he knew that.

Was he even still him?

"Snart."

Len sat up and... there was Mick.

"You alright?"

Len nodded, knowing full well what was coming next.

Mick's fist hit Len's shoulder.  "You fucking asshole."

"I'm not sorry."

"You were dead.  That was supposed to be me."

"You didn't even want to be there," Len drawled.  "I dragged you into that mess and then... I ditched you when things got dicey.  And the Time Masters took you."  And brainwashed him.

"That wasn't..." Mick looked away.  "Snart... Lenny, I'm supposed to look after you.  Not the other way around."

"I haven't been that kid in a long time.  I wasn't about to let you die for my stupid decisions."

Mick snorted quietly.  "You're always going to be that kid."

Len closed his eyes.  Maybe Mick had a point.

Time seemed linear because that's how people perceived it, one moment leading to the next.  But that wasn't necessarily how time actually worked.

* * *

The Waverider's Gideon scanned Len.

"There's trace elements of energy embedded throughout your entire body.  The same energy that can be found in the Vanishing Point, presumably from the Oculus."

Ray immediately began technobabbling.  So does Rip.  And then pretty much everyone else starts theorizing too, never mind that half of them aren't scientists.

Len's just glad that both halves of FIRESTORM are off visiting their families right now because that's two fewer voices talking over each other than they'd otherwise have.

Mick sees Len's discomfort but its Barry who lets out the piercing whistle that shuts them all up.

"Thank you," Barry says cheerfully, ignoring the glowers from his own teammates as well as the Legends.  "Gideon, do you know what this means for Snart?  What sort of side effects should he be aware of?"

"Thank you, father."  Gideon responds primly, nearly starting off another ruckus from the Legends - sans Rip who looks very sulky but unsurprised - but they shut up when Barry motions like he's going to whistle again.  "Mr. Snart, it appears temporal particles have bonded to you on a cellular level, which is what is producing the low levels of energy my scans picked up.  Currently your system is adjusting to their addition.  This is the most likely cause of your knowledge of things you shouldn't know.  On a subconscious level, you're now connected to the time stream itself.  You will likely see an improvement of your physical health as the temporal particles cause your tissue to start regenerating towards peak health; you'll likely begin experiencing a healing factor not unlike that of a speedster.

"It's likely that as your new abilities continue to settle, Mr. Snart, you'll continue to experience moments of disorientation or unconsciousness though they'll lessen in intensity and regularity until your system has fully adjusted.  It's likely this was caused by your proximity to the Oculus at the moment of its destruction and this is what saved your life.  Though how you were able to travel from the Vanishing Point to 2016 Central City, I'm unable to speculate.  The temporal particles in your system are not high enough to account for such a temporal jump."

Len thinks for a moment of his dreams and the certainty he feels that every moment in time is happening all at once... and says nothing.

The Oculus changed him.

"However..." Gideon added, "until your abilities stabilize, I would not recommend you involve yourself in any form of time travel.  Even then it would be highly inadvisable as I cannot speculate at this time how being outside of time might affect you."

* * *

"So, you're going to invent Gideon one day?"  Ray frowns, "but... the technology necessary to create her doesn't exist yet."

"Not yet, no," Barry agreed evenly, wanting very much to get off this topic.  They'd left the infirmary and gathered in one of the STAR Labs break rooms to spend some time together, something their teams hadn't done since the Legends brought back news of Len's death and left behind Kendra and Carter, who'd wanted to start over together somewhere quiet and out of the way.  Ray, unfortunately, was stuck on the topic of Barry eventually creating Gideon.

"Are you even working on anything like her yet?"  Ray persisted.

"Nope."

"Maybe you should consider starting on some rudimentary learning programs so that..."

"Ray," Barry interrupted, "the technology necessary to create Gideon won't be around for at least sixty years and do not ask me why I know that."  The last few words were spoken a touch harshly but this wasn't a topic Barry was comfortable with.  Holographic interfaces were in the process of being perfected, but the data storage devices alone were at least forty years away and the systems capable of running a genuine AI of even the prototype Gideon's level of self awareness were just... "Suffice it to say, I've got time."

With Barry's speedster healing - his body constantly regenerating itself to his peak condition - he had more time than everyone else in his life.  Barry didn't like thinking about it and he particularly didn't like what Gideon represented to him.  Her inevitable creation also meant that, inevitably, Barry would outlive his friends and family.

Ray didn't mean to be insensitively shoving that in Barry's face, but that was still exactly what Ray was doing.

So Barry excused himself as politely as possible and headed out to the cortex.

A few minutes later, the sound of footsteps alerted Barry to the fact that he was not the only one to slip out of the break room.

"Barry."

"Snart."

"At this point," Snart said, grabbing a chair to join Barry at the computer station, "you might as well start calling me Len."

Barry smiled.  "Alright then, Len."

"I heard what you and Ray were discussing."

And there went Barry's fledgling good mood.  He frowned again.

"Aside from healing really fast, what exactly are the 'perks' of speedster healing I have to look forward to now?"

"If you break your spine, it'll eventually repair the damage.  Spent a few days paralyzed after my first fight with Zoom," Barry elaborated when Len's expression turned curious.

"And aging slows down to a crawl?  Or are you just not aging at all?"  Snart - Len - dropped his attempt at being subtle to go straight for the hard questions.

"Honestly, I'm not sure yet."  Barry crossed his arms and slumped back in his own chair.  "But it's pretty clearly already affected my aging, according to Caitlin.  She's been keeping it quiet for me, but..."

"But you'll eventually have to deal with it.  And now so will I, since apparently I'm in a similar situation now."  

Part of Barry is selfishly glad for that.  He won't actually be alone; he'll have Len even if this weird frenemies who flirt thing is all they ever have.  But now Snart has to deal with outliving his friends and loved ones too.  Mick and Lisa and the Legends... though at least the Legends are time travelers who might pop up from time to time.

"You should call your sister," Barry said quietly.

"Yeah... maybe I should."

* * *

Lisa yells at Len over the phone.  Then she yells at him in person.  She punches him on the same shoulder Mick did.  She also cries.

Awful sobbing tears type crying.  The sort of crying that when other people do it, Len looks for the nearest exit.  But this is Lisa, so he's not looking to run away... he's just trying not to start crying himself.  He's got an image to maintain, after all.

Len wraps his arms around Lisa and holds her tight.

"I love you, Lise," he murmurs, for her ears only.

"I love you too, Lenny," she mutters back, voice muffled against his chest.

He gets why Barry doesn't want to talk about the implications of meta healing powers.  Len can't even begin to imagine a future where he's still alive and she's long dead.

* * *

"So, if you don't mind me asking," Ray begins, which Barry is starting to suspect is always going to preface Ray asking something Barry doesn't want to talk about, "what happened to Zoom?"

Rip looks interested all of a sudden.  "I too, would like to know that.  In the future, well... you only ever said that the Time Wraiths took him away.  I admit, at the time I thought you were teasing me."

"Time Wraiths?" Sara asked.  "What are those?  Should we be worried about those?  I mean, as time travelers?"

"They're the Time Master version of the boogey-men," Mick spoke up.  "Speedster zombies that live in the speed force and protect the timeline from Time Remnants and paradoxes.  Never gave them much thought myself; saw a hell of a lot of paradoxes, never once saw a damn zombie show up to fix the problem."

"That's because they don't care about your average human time traveling.  Only speedsters."  Barry shrugged, adding, "the Time Wraiths showed up and took Zoom away.  Because I created a Time Remnant.  Then they dragged Zoom off and... it probably would have been a lot more merciful if we had killed him."

"You created a Time Remnant.  That's extremely dangerous..."

"Says the Time Remnant," Barry interjected sharply.  "You're a walking talking paradox, Rip.  Your own timeline is in tatters; you don't get to lecture me on that."

"What, but he's not a Time Remnant," Ray objected at the same time Sara demanded, "what the hell is a Time Remnant and how is Rip one?"

"Time Remnants are... people who are remnants of defunct timelines that, for whatever reason, are not immediately dissipated from the timeline," Rip answered.  "Technically, both Carter and I are remnants of a defunct timeline.  Due to how we killed Vandal Savage and destroyed the Time Masters organization, the timeline that led to me becoming a Time Master is defunct as is the timeline that led to the current version of Carter joining our crew after being tortured and brainwashed by Savage.  Carter is likely protected by his ability to reincarnate, thus slipping into the timeline where the version of him that died should have been.  I, however, remain - as well as Gideon and the Waverider - due to our proximity to the Vanishing Point when the Oculus exploded.  Because we're all essential to the Oculus' destruction, our personal timelines are a lot less malleable than they should be so..."

"So even though Rip shouldn't exist as this version of himself, he does anyway.  Ergo, Time Remnant," Barry finished when Rip trailed off.  "Speedsters can deliberately create Time Remnants of themselves.  Running fast enough you can kind of... make the same decision twice.  Move to the left and the right at the same time and... there's two of you.  Neither one more or less real than the other.  The Speed Force is sentient, though, and doesn't like speedsters abusing their powers that way outside of emergencies.  And there'd better only be one version of that speedster left after the emergency or else... Time Wraiths show up anyway.  Zoom had been creating Time Remnants so he could play the hero and the villain at the same time.  The Speed Force didn't like it.  So even though the other me died creating the pulse to nullify Zoom's multi-verse destroying Magnetar, the Time Wraiths had been looking for Zoom for a while.  They showed up and dragged him off.  And, well... if a Time Wraith touches a speedster for long enough, that speedster becomes a Time Wraith themselves."

Barry headed towards the door.  He was just... so done with today.  "Honestly, it would have been kinder if we had just killed him," Barry reiterated as he walked out. The rest of the room was too stunned to follow after, though he wasn't even bothering with super speeds yet.  Even Cisco and Caitlin didn't seem to know what to say.  Once out in the hallway, Barry ran home and buried himself in the blankets on his bed.

* * *

_He can feel himself peeling apart, he's running so fast.  He's terrified of dying; he's too young, he's too scared, he's too... he keeps running anyway.  Faster and faster and as terrified as he is, he's still exhilarated.  He can't feel the pain even though he knows he should - the universe's greatest runner's high keeping him pushing past the point where he shouldn't be able to move anymore._

_And then the pulse is gone.  Barry slows to a stop even though he shouldn't have been able to.  Never mind not being alive; he shouldn't have been able to stop at those speeds without becoming a smear on the pavement._

_No one sees him, Barry realizes quickly.  He's... gone.  Ripped apart and yet not.  And he watches - silent, unseen - as the other Barry lets the Time Wraiths take Zoom away.  His family and friends are so happy for him.  He survived._

_But he didn't survive.  He just watched himself die.  And... no one cares.  No one mourns for him and why should they mourn for a dead Barry when they've still got a live one._

Barry wakes choking on a scream and... his hands are shaking.  He hadn't had that nightmare in weeks.

At least it wasn't the nightmare where Cisco is screaming at him that the other Barry would have saved Dante for him.  That the other Barry must've been the real one and they're stuck with a useless Time Remnant that doesn't belong.

"At least I'm not the only one with bad dreams," says Len from the doorway.

Barry starts and looks up at the door.  "What are you doing here?  I figured you'd want to stay with your sister."

"I brought dinner.  And I can stay with Lisa... if my invite to stay here is being revoked."

"No, its still fine with me," Barry responded, groggy from sleeping during the day.

He'd been sleeping in just his boxers and he enjoys the way Len watches him with a sly smirk as Barry gets out of bed and slides into pajama bottoms.  Barry considers not bothering with a shirt - he likes the way Len's attention makes him feel.  But its a little chilly in the apartment, so Barry pulls on a t-shirt anyway.

Barry follows Snart out into the living room where there's food on the table.  Chinese take out, and lots of it.  Barry's stomach growls, reminding him he missed his afternoon snack and he's starving.  "Prepared for a speedster's appetite, huh?"

"How has no one figured out you're a meta from your grocery bills alone?" Len jokes.

"Most people really just aren't that observant."  Barry does shop around at different stores a lot and Amazon Prime helps some too, but mostly its just down to the money he inherited from Eobard Thawne when he died in the Singularity.  Barry still doesn't know how he feels about that money - about the investments he inherited that are still raking in more money than he knows what to do with - but he knows he can't just donate it all to charity and wash his hands of it the way he'd like to.  STAR Labs would fall apart without it and Barry's grocery bills would put him in debt far too quickly.  

They eat with quiet conversation and netflix buzzing in the background.  Classic MacGyver episodes, which it turns out both of them enjoy greatly.

When the food's gone - no leftovers with a speedster around - Len leans in and kisses Barry.  It's a quiet, searching kiss.  Not pushing, but just... testing the waters.  Barry presses into it, offers his mouth up for Len to explore and... he feels something inside himself unwind.

Strong hands run down Barry's sides as the kiss turns harder and Len takes advantage of what Barry offers.  Barry moans into Len's mouth as those hands slide under his shirt.

"What do you want, Barry?" Len asks when they have to pull away to breathe.

"I want you," Barry responds.  "I want you."

* * *

In the morning, they're both in Barry's bed.

They're kissing again, languid, heated kisses, and Barry just knows he's going to be late to work.

**Author's Note:**

> For prompt G3 on my ColdFlash Bingo Card - Waking up from a nightmare
> 
> There were, of course, the literal nightmares that Len and Barry have during the fic, but there's also both of them recovering from the more metaphorical nightmares of Len's death at the Oculus and Barry's trauma surrounding Zoom's defeat and the death of Barry's own Time Remnant.


End file.
